|Prompts 4 and 9|
This weekend (21/22/23 February) is the second Be Creative weekend organised by Myfanwy Hart and, again, I am taking part. Participating in this event is quite a departure for me as I have never regarded myself as artistic. I have always been useless at art and drawing – my art teacher very quickly gave up on me due to the apparent lack of coordination between the ideas in my brain and what was produced by my hands. I only ever did two pieces of work that I wasn’t completely ashamed of but even they were harshly criticised by her! It doesn’t take long to ‘learn’ that you are no good at something when you have a teacher like that.
Recently I wrote on here about perfection – you can that post here. This relates well to Prompt 14 this weekend:
“Think hard about a mistake that led to something better. Are you prepared to fail? Are you a perfectionist? Are you staying in the shadows during this Creative Weekend because you are scared of being seen as a failure or ‘not good enough’?”
When I signed up for the Be Creative weekend I definitely felt like an imposter. Who did I think I was imagining that I was ‘good’ enough or ‘creative’ enough to deserve to take part? So, I did something that I do at times like this: took a deep breath, closed my eyes and jumped in quick. I think I have pretty much perfected that technique because others are usually shocked when I share with them how terrified I am! It’s not how I come across to other people. The brashness I display leads to the assumption by others that I am supremely confident… and bossy!
So there I was, a participant in a weekend of creativity who had a strong belief in her lack of creativity. Oh my goodness, there was so much during that weekend that was outside my comfort zone, including my bete noir… drawing! However, I had decided that I would attempt all of the prompts and, accordingly, I picked up my pencil and drew. And, blow me down, if Myfanwy didn’t have another drawing prompt in this month’s weekend!
This is my drawing. We had to look in the mirror and draw a picture of ourselves using our non-dominant hand. It doesn’t look much like me – I hope!!! I don’t want to look that masculine! For all that, it hasn’t turned out as dreadful as I had imagined it would. It is probably about the same standard as it would be with my dominant hand. (I should perhaps mention that in some things I am left-handed or ambidextrous.) as I wasn’t totally ashamed of my drawing I decided to post it on our Facebook group page. The group is so supportive that it feels ‘safe’ to show my failures and the pieces that I feel don’t work well. It has helped me to cope with my different level of ability. What also helps is that I feel that my skills are developing and that I am picking up new skills. I may not be brilliant at them but the seeds are definitely there and simply need nurturing. Being in the Be Creative group is certainly helping those seeds to germinate and grow.
Thank you, Myfanwy, and thank you, group members for helping me to feel less of a failure and more deserving of my place in the group.